Back in the day, I preferred waitressing to working in offices because I could not stand the tedium of office tasks. I had morals of some kind too, because when I was contracted to write a manual for the military, I turned it down. Not only did I turn it down, I said I would do it, then just didn’t show up for the job.

Part of the reason I flaked was because there was a girl working there that I had gone to school with. I was embarrassed that I hadn’t done anything super wow already with my life (I was about 24).

I was quite vocally opposed to war and violence; in contrast to the small town acceptance of such things that we both grew up with. By taking the job, everyone I grew up with would know that I had failed; that I was forced to accept war/violence as a way of life. I was stubborn and block-headed, then; viewed most things in black and white rather than shades of grey.

I realize now I could have asked the temp company to find me something similar, but for a different government department. I could have told them I’d be more of an asset to them in a different environment. They may have viewed me as cheeky, but would have found me something else: I was a good, contentious worker. Unfortunately, not only did I not know I was a good, contentious worker, I had NO IDEA that I could ask for things in a job. I did not realize it was ok; good, even, to question and/or make demands of an employer!

So I threw away an opportunity and a livelihood. Man, it hurts to recall that…

Image from: http://j0wwww.blogspot.com