Monday, 2 pm. I’ve been up since 9:15 am, but I still have not left the house. I want to hate myself: I want to punish myself for being lazy - undisciplined - but I won't.

Coffee. Turning on computer and backing up files. Checking email. Writing email regarding:

• potential office space (for the fall – not sure if the warehouse studio is going to be practical);
• hanging with some peeps I wanna befriend, possibly collaborate on creative projects with;
• conference planning meeting;
• hotel for conference speaker;
• performance and video idea for dance troupe for conference event.

Brushing teeth, eating lunch and doing dishes.

Wow! 5 hours for all that. No messing around either.

The email to dance troupe took some time because I had to research their work and strategize how to frame proposal.

So what I’ve done is work on my business infrastructure, work on a few conference organizing odds and ends, and propose/organize creative projects - projects that would be good for my paid conference work but that as non-essentials, if I asked about charging for them, would get a definite “no”.

Have I done a good half day’s work? If I can fight off the panic rising inside of me at the thought of neglecting my paying projects; if I can erase my mother's face and voice, berating me, crying and looking terrified over my lack of practicality and realism, I have.

Image from: http://news.xinhuanet.com/english