Sadness. The only constant. The only thing I can count on. Where does it come from? Why can’t I kill it?

I have incredible friends, an incredible partner and rewarding work. Is it hereditary?

My mom was the same, and probably my dad. My sister? Yep. My brothers? Probably my two oldest ones. I don’t know the two youngest ones well enough to say positively; however, they seem happier than the rest of us. They had the benefit of being born 5 and 10 years, respectively, after the cluster of the four oldest. My mom was a bit happier by then. Perhaps the end was in site. She could see that she was finally going to leave the farm.

The miserable, lonely, pristine and haunted homestead. My father’s life's work built on my mother’s strength and connections. The screaming success my mother would have no part of because women are the servants of men. Or so she believed. Or so she tried to believe.

My mother was a Catholic – a shitty Catholic, as all Catholics are - that’s why they remain Catholics. Ha! I’m kidding. Catholicism is a free resource the world’s leaders give to their unwitting slaves. Religion is so fucking perfect! You co-opt the message of an extremely powerful, holy person and use it keep people working for you. Hell, the people will even pay you for the privilege of hearing your garbage. While they’re alive, they give their labour/love to you. They give themselves and their families your cheap knockoffs: faith (in the reward you’ve sold them after life), steroid and preservative filled “natural” meats and vegetables and disgusting, oil-based “processed” foods you pay your friends to create elaborate marketing campaigns for, so they know what they’re supposed to taste when they eat them. You get your slaves to buy your diamonds, your chocolate, your marriage licenses. They “work” for you and "love" each other. They don’t realize that love is work, that you’ve stolen every expedient drop, leaving them just enough to keep producing. For you.

Is this why I’m sad? Because the world is full of slaves? Because I’ve lived among slaves all my life? Because I am a slave?

Image from: ebbern.dk